


Alternate Universe: Near's disability

by KatTheRandomWriter



Category: Death Note (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Child Neglect, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Orphans, Other, Physical Disability, how does one tag?, it's a theory kind of thing, it's based around Near
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-16
Updated: 2018-03-16
Packaged: 2019-03-26 10:46:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,150
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13856211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KatTheRandomWriter/pseuds/KatTheRandomWriter
Summary: Near had always been sitting. He never stood up for any reason. Why? Because he couldn't.(This was based off a loose theory that was debunked but I still want to write this! Basically in the anime, you like, never see Near stand up, maybe it's the same with the manga, BUT I came up with a theory that suggested that Near had some kind of injury on his foot, not his leg since he can still lift them and bend his knees. So this is kind of a story of Near and how he goes through his life and the Kira case whilst being disabled like this.)





	Alternate Universe: Near's disability

**Author's Note:**

> This was based off a theory I made. So, you know how you never see Near stand in the anime? Like, the actual full scale standing up, you never see his full body standing. So I made a theory about how Near has some kind of injury on his foot that's covered up by his long pants and socks. The injury would probably be on the bottom of his feet or on his ankles. He has no problems with the upper part of his legs and his knees since he can move them and bend them. Someone commented that I should write about it and here I am! This is Near's story through the orphanage and the Kira case with him not being able to walk.

I don't remember much about my early stages of life as a baby. All I remember is searing pain shooting through my legs. And darkness.

The oldest memory I can recall was being carried by an old man. He didn't look hostile, but one could never judge a book by its cover. Then there was white everywhere, and muttering voices. I could see the old man's face, but he seemed sad and held my hand gently in his. My hands were very small, a pea compared to his. His hands were rather rough too from wrinkles, unlike mine, smooth as silk, just like a baby.

_It was warm._

The old man became the closest thing I could call a father, or even a parent for that matter. He took me to a place called 'The Wammy's House'. I met lots of other children who didn't have parents, but I couldn't play with them, even if I wanted to. The old man would always stop me from trying to stand up, and kept watch over me. I had to crawl all the time.

When I grew to the age of three, I tried standing up and walking, just like a typical toddler would. I did it behind the old man's back. However, I was assaulted by excruciating pain and fell immediately. The old man rushed to my side. 

That was the first time I ever truly remember crying.

I tried to stand up and walk from time to time, again and again. And it was always the same result. Eventually, the old man simply carried me around whenever I wanted to go somewhere. In a way, I preferred it to be that way, not only because it meant that I didn't need to get up and feel intense pain, but it also meant I was able to feel the warmth of the old man.

Before I turned four, the library in the orphanage became my favorite place. I'd stay there from dawn until dusk and the old man would carry me back to my room to sleep like the other children.

I learned how to read advanced books meant for teenagers. As a result, I was able to understand language quickly and efficiently and expand my language barrier, learning a variety of different languages in a very short amount of time.

But... I was always alone. I picked up these advanced skills because I had nothing else to do. I realized at that point that I couldn't stand nor walk. Sometimes, other children would approach me and ask me to play with them. But I always refused. I couldn't stand, let alone run in a field chasing other children. Eventually, people left me alone, all except the old man.

Until he left me too.

I knew that he was trying to explain what was going on, and I remember seeing a boy with black messy hair and dilated eyes sucking on a lollipop with the old man. I could understand that it was important, and he was going away for a long time, maybe even his whole life. He told me that I could call him at any time that I wanted, that he'd always be with me and the other children. The old man always reassured me that he'd leave another adult with me so I could still be carried around to the library or anywhere else.

That didn't stop me from crying for the second time in my life.

The people who were supposed to 'replace' the old man in terms of carrying me around were...less than pleasant.

"Hang on, I'm in the middle of something!"

"Do you have to go there  **now**?!"

"Ughh again?!"

"How many times do I have to keep doing this?!"

"Just stay put!"

"Can't you even walk there yourself?! It's literally right there."

I didn't like a single one of those caretakers, and I would always talk about it over the phone with the old man. They'd either be fired and replaced, or given a very stern warning. I wasn't cared for because I was loved. I was cared for because they all _feared_ and _hated_ me.

I couldn't find my ability to care about a matter like that. It was unnecessary and somewhat petty.

Before my fifth birthday, the old man delivered hundreds of different toys to the orphanage for the children to play with. I did not enjoy the games that most of the other children did, such as remote controlled cars, balls and airplanes. They were all toys that I had to get up and retrieve once I played with it once. It would've been a hassle to the caretakers and they would complain again. Annoying.

That's when I grew to enjoy stationary games that were imagination and concentration focused, such as figurines and anything I could stack. Dices, cards, matches, anything really. When I informed the old man about this discovery over the phone, he was thrilled and sent me hundreds of those items to me the very next day.

As time went by, I grew to reason and counter every argument thrown at me, be it by the other children or the caretakers. The old man allowed me to have a room to myself in complete solitude. It was spacious, with wooden floorboards and not a single furniture. I enjoyed my time in that room. I didn't allow anyone inside, not even the caretakers. I could simply crawl over to the door and unlock it when I wished to leave. The opposite wall to the wooden door had colored tinted windows that illuminated onto the floor when the Sun shone down on it. I would build intricate and massive structures made of cards or other toys I had or play aimlessly with my figurines, making up different scenarios for them to act out.

It was around the month of December when I was still five when I made....friends.

I was in my own playroom, staring at the mountains and pillars I built out of pillows when a deafening crash echoed throughout the room. I looked over to see a part of the painted window smashed to bits and the culprit, a soccer ball, rolling towards me. I merely stared at the ball for a moment before I heard a boy yell: "Oh shit!" And looked back to the window. There was a blonde haired male, much older than me, peering through the hole of the smashed window, and by his facial expression, he was petrified. He continued muttering curses to himself before looking at me. "Uhh... Hey, could you hand that ball back to me? I can repair your window if you do!" He claimed. I simply stared at him.

"And how do you plan on doing so?" I had asked. The boy opened his mouth to answer, but he, of course, had none of such. "Precisely." Nevertheless, I crawled over to the ball, picked it up, tucked it under my arm and crawled over to the shattered window, pushing aside the glass shards. The boy stared strangely at me and I knew what he was about to ask.

"If you are going to ask why I did not simply stand up and walk over, it is because I have no ability to stand nor walk at all." I said and the look the boy gave me told me the full story. I was right. I lifted the ball up above my head and threw it directly in the boy's face, effectively smacking him.

**Hard.**

I wasn't annoyed. I just desired to be and stay alone. It was so much better than pointless interactions.

I learned the boy's name was Mello. He acknowledged and recognized me when my caretaker passed him while carrying me. He was rough, reckless, but also intelligent. I saw him as the type of person who would use strength and wits rather than patience and precision. He was friends with another male named Matt. They would greet me during rare times I saw them. To them, I was 'the boy who threw a soccer ball in my face'.

When I reached the age of six, a new interaction intrigued the other children of the orphanage. A man named L, said to be the smartest mind on Earth, connected with us via a computer with nothing but a white screen with the letter 'L' in black. I did listen to some of his stories and all the other orphanage children loved him. I didn't think much of it, until in December of the same year. The old man came back, but he was with someone else. I recognized him as the boy I saw years ago. He was much older now...

I didn't interact with him, only with the old man. I thanked him for the gifts and told him about Mello and Matt. He said they were rowdy boys, and they caused quite a bit of trouble around the orphanage. On the same day, every child in the orphanage had to answer a sheet of questions in a room. The closest representation of the scene to me, would be during an examination I've seen in videos. The questions, to any person, would seem utterly random and confusing, which is why the last question piped my interest.

_"Name the connection of all the above questions."_

The 'test' wasn't difficult for me, but as much as I enjoyed the old man's return, I knew it wasn't going to remain that way for long. He'd leave again soon. I asked to go back to my play room. The room with stained glass and be left alone in there.

Until that boy came into the room.

I looked over from my stack of cards towards him. The whole room was full of tower and towers of cards I meticulously stacked up. "Is there something you need from me?" I had asked. He simply looked around in wonder. "Quite a collection you have." He stated flatly. I agreed with him but didn't say anything else. 

I talked to him for a moment longer. It didn't take me long to understand that this man was extremely intelligent, but he was also strange. But, I didn't consider it a negative effect. Besides, other orphanage children considered me strange as well.

As I had predicted, the old man had to leave once more. I told my caretaker to leave me alone and the old man, despite his age, managed to carry me around, just like he did years ago. I missed it. 

I noticed the man from earlier following us. He explained that he was going with the old man. 'Watari'? Is that the old man's name? I never bothered asking. Old man was enough for me. However, that wouldn't make sense... He owns the orphanage, why call it 'The Wammy's House'? Is 'Watari' merely an alias?

I never learned the old man's name, nor the name of the strange man following him around. However, I could vaguely understand their relation. A sort of father son relationship mixed with some kind of...assistance? I wonder what all this means.

Something big happened a few weeks after. L had actually evaluated all the children in the orphanage and the test we all took before was made to test our intelligence. The Wammy's House was made for orphans, but when L appeared, it changed to a home to cater, nurse and develop potential successors for L.

Well, it made sense to me. L is the number one detective in the world, he is bound to have enemies that wish to kill him, and no matter how intelligent you are, your death may become unpredictable depending on the circumstances. Having a successor secures L's title and prevents the public from realizing anything.

It was bound to happen once everyone realized what the true objective of that test was. I figured it was only a matter of time. I knew straightaway when the man currently running The Wammy's House requested me to meet him in his office. I knew exactly what he was going to say, I just didn't know if anyone else was going to be there with me.

Mello. What a surprise... I never expected him to be intelligent to this extent.

There was no doubt that every child in the orphanage was special and intelligent in some way, but I imagined Mello as more of the 'less talking more doing' person. I didn't expect him to be in the same room with me.

_With the both of us having potential to become the next L._

From that day onwards, I was forced to partake in several special language classes, learn the culture of each and every country out there, learn coding and hacking, and far more. Mello and a few other children went through the same process, but myself and him had the biggest load to carry with the highest potential of being able to succeed L.

Something else changed. Mello's attitude. I had a feeling that this might happen considering my knowledge of Mello's personality, but it happened almost immediately. It was a surprise to me how fast his behavior towards me changed. 

He acknowledged me a lot more than usual and developed a disliking towards me. He hated me and saw me as a rival. It was obvious that he admired L from the start because I would notice his facial expression change to one of pure admiration whenever I was in the room with him when L was speaking through the laptop.

I never saw Mello as a rival, nor did I think I was above him. I just accepted his behavior as the norm. If he wished to assume me as his rival, then I'll just play along, so long as he doesn't get in my way and slow my progress down.

I was around seven when the news of Kira reached my ears. By that time, me and Mello were already able to solve several cases, but the moment I heard of Kira, nothing else seemed to interest me as much as this did.

Kira, someone with God like powers serving justice to criminals via heart attacks. As I anticipated, L took interest in the Kira case and took it on. I had less of a pleasant feeling about that. If anything, this was going to be one of the hardest cases ever taken on.

I never left the orphanage, learning more information along the way. Government control, political issues, things I assumed were more suited to adult tastes. It never mattered to me. Information was always a neutral subject to me. It was either useful to me, or it wasn't. That was it.

I spent more time in my play room, thinking about the Kira case. I spent so long in there that the caretakers would sometimes simply leave me in there. During those times, I would be unable to go back to my room. So I slept on the wooden floorboards until morning. My posture and general health was never impressive to begin with, what with my unnatural hair tone and pale skin and skinny body structure. It was not as though there was anything I could do about it. 

When I turned eight, there was a major shift in my life. It happened when me and Mello were called to the main office of the man running The Wammy's House.

_"L is dead."_

Mello was obviously shocked, but I had never ruled his death out as a possibility, so it wasn't as surprising to me. Kira killed L, that is the conclusion I've made. It was confirmed by Mello's questioning. But... It became louder and it distracted me from my puzzle. Annoying. So I did the only thing I could do without adding fuel to the fire.

_"If you can't win the game, if you can't solve the puzzle, then you're just a loser."_

The silence that followed after was nice, and it didn't take me long to rebuild my puzzle again. 

"So, who did he pick?" 

"He never decided. I think it would be better if the two of you worked together."

Working together with Mello? Well, I was fine with that, so the decision rested with Mello. It was a very slim chance, but perhaps he would agree. I said I had no objections, but Mello looked at me in utter hate and disgust, but he even went as far as stating that I was better suited to be L's successor. Nevertheless, I was now a hundred percent sure that we would be unable to work together now.

Mello left, leaving me with the silence and the man's presence. He broke the silence after a few minutes and several destruction and completion of the puzzle I was currently handling. "So, what are you going to do now?" That was his question.

What am I going to do now? Was it not obvious enough? "Why, I'm going to catch Kira before Mello does. He's made his intentions very clear."

Who will catch Kira first?

_Let the game begin._

It took four years, but that hardly mattered to me. All that did matter was that I was able to complete my objective. I managed to create the SPK. The Special Provisions for Kira. I was also able to convince the president of the United States of all people, that I was the true successor to L. In those four years, I gathered as much information about Kira as I could. I also made a rather interesting discovery.

I found out that L deleted all his progress regarding the Kira investigations before his death and I had to start from scratch. Troublesome...

Eventually, I learned about the Japanese task force cooperating with L to catch Kira. I found out about the former Kira, a person named 'Higuchi', but I concluded that he was not the person we were looking for. 

That's how I found out about the Death Note. A notebook that kills people simply by writing their name in it. There was also a fact stating that 'L' was working with the Japanese task force still...

When I heard about a ransom with the Death Note, I couldn't help but smile. Only Mello would be as crazy as taking over a Mafia gang simply to overturn me and gain the upper hand, and with the Death Note, it was reassured that he would.

When one of the SPK members received a phone call from 'L', it irked me ever so slightly. So I asked him to hand me the phone. There was no need for secrets, we all knew of L's death anyway. So I called him out right then and there. 

Things were getting interesting, so I complied with the second L's demands for a while regarding the Death Note ransom. But by the end of the day, we failed, and Mello gained the upper hand. But he took most of the SPK members out as a proclaim of his victory to me.

That's when I decided that cooperating with the second L would be the best option for me to take Mello out and win. In that time, I came up with numerous theories, but I was always uncertain because I needed the Death Note to confirm my answers, and I didn't have it. Besides, cooperating with the second L and exchanging information about Mello would allow me to gain, if not a fraction, of the trust, not from the second L, but rather the police task force. There was no way they couldn't be listening in to our conversations.

I heard of Mello's insane actions after Soichiro Yagami's passing, but I was hardly surprised. However, when the United States President announced that he disbanded the SPK, my eyes narrowed significantly. The president agreed to allow me to make the SPK, now he's banning and going against us? The work of Kira has really grown significant huh...

Later that night, Mello showed up at the headquarters with a gun held at point blank range at one of the surviving members of the SPK. I was hardly surprised, but glanced over when the others pointed their guns at him as well. I understood their thoughts about Mello killing their comrades, but there was nothing to gain by shooting. I knew why he was here. I called him earlier, it only took a few exchanged words to coax him to come here.

_"Do you remember the time you asked me to take a picture of you for picture day?"_

I wanted to compliment him, stating that Mello played a huge roll in helping in the investigation. At that, he became enraged and pointed the gun at me, threatening me. Mello, is that how you think of me? A part of my game?

_What a shame._

I felt as though I wasn't able to care about the seriousness of the situation despite the fact that Mello was pointing a gun at me. Halle managed to convince him not to shoot me, and he left. But he gave me extremely significant information about the Death Note.

_Fake rules and a Shinigami._

Thank you Mello.

I received news of a spokesman for Kira. Demigawa Hitoshi. Hmph, it was obvious he was simply acting off his own greed and stupidity rather than support for Kira. I never bothered too much about such a topic and preferred to think about the fake rules that Mello described. I smiled and contacted the second L, asking him about what Mello said. Of course, I lied and covered up that he came to the SPK headquarters somewhat willingly.

His words matched up exactly to what I figured. The 13 day rule and the rule that states that anyone who touches the Death Note will die if it was ever destroyed were the fakes. I was sure of the former, but the latter had a 64% chance of being right, but I had no way to confirm it without the death of many innocents. Besides, I doubted that they'd destroy the Death Note so willingly and easily. 

A realization came to me during our phone conversation. I was sure the other members of the Task Force were listening in, and based on the fact that the 13 day rule could oh-so conveniently prove an alibi, there was no doubt that Kira must be amongst the member of the Task Force. There wasn't much telling who specifically it was, but I'm sure by pulling the right triggers and pushing the right buttons, I could get one innocent member of the Task Force on my side, so I proposed an offer and gave the contact number to them, assuming they were listening.

The very next day, I looked over at the security cameras and frowned. A rabid group of Kira supporters were attempting to break down into the SPK headquarters. The Second L encouraged me to evacuate immediately, but I knew what he was planning. There was definitely some kind of danger if I ran out in the open blindly.

Luckily, I was fully prepared for such a situation, but it would definitely be troublesome. I told the SPK members to throw out all of L's inheritance out the window down onto the crowd. I knew there were going to be Kira supporters out there in the world, believing that his actions, killing others, would lead to a better world. However, these people outside right now? They are not those kinds of people. They simply jumped to join the team without examining Kira's philosophy for themselves.

_All it takes to blind them is money. That's all._

I had so many toys. I wasn't too panicked and simply gathered as many of my figurines as I could into my arms while money fluttered down the building to the greedy men. But... There was one problem. And none of the SPK members knew of my situation.

"Near, you should hurry and put on your gear and we can get out of here. Here, I found a bag so you can stuff all your toys inside." I looked at Gevanni, always the serious but concerned type. I sighed and twirled a strand of my hair through my fingers. "...I assumed you all would've been able to figure it out for yourselves sooner or later, but it seems as though I was wrong to assume..." I muttered out. "What do you mean? Is something the matter, Near?" The Commander asked. I could sense the concern in his voice.

_"I have no ability to stand nor walk, let alone run out of this building."_

That caught the SPK members off guard and they were rather surprised and shocked. "Nothing to fret about really. Kira needs a name and a face to kill, and even if the Second Kira is keeping a look out, I prepared face shields for everyone. There's no way for either of the Kiras to get to anyone." I said calmly. "Won't someone need to carry you?" "Kira has never seen my face and he has no idea I can't walk. Even if he somehow figured out the child being carried out is me, he still wouldn't be able to get me since I will be wearing a face shield just like everyone else." I said. There was nothing to be concerned about apart from having to place down all my toys again. Such a tedious task.

_"Another question, who is going to carry me out? I plan to have a lot of people surrounding us so there is a less likely chance that Kira will be able to spot us."_

Everyone looked over at Gevanni. "Why me?!" I didn't have any objections, and Gevanni was the type of person who would complain but still do it anyway. So we made our way out of the SPK base and got out safely. I didn't particularly care about the fact Gevanni had carried me on his back rather than bridal style like how my caretakers carelessly did. 

It didn't take long for us to evacuate the area and to restart base somewhere else. Truth be told, I was rather amused, catching on to the second L's dismissive tone when I called him to tell him we were safe.

A few weeks passed and I saw changes. For one thing, Demigawa died. It was a few days later until someone contacted me. It wasn't the second L, and that piped my interest. It was one of the members of the Task Force. I finally got through to one of them. It made sense after the incident with the SPK base. He gave me a lot of useful information, and I was sure that Light Yagami, son of Soichiro Yagami, Kira, the second L, they are all the same person.

There should only be one Death Note now as far as I'm concerned, because Mello stated that the one he took was taken back by a shinigami when he lost it to the Task Force. I already felt sure that the second L is Kira. But... I'm sure he doesn't have the Death Note with him, and the killings were different. Too frequent, and the death of Demigawa...didn't seem to fit with Kira...

There must be a third Kira behind the scenes. They are the one with the last Death Note. Hm...

I stared at my small figurines meant to represent the suspects in my investigation and scooted over to a box, taking out a spare one and scribbling over its chest. Halle walked over and saw me. "What are you doing, Near?" She had asked, peering over my shoulder to see the toy. 

_"X-Kira. A third Kira."_

But... Who is X-Kira? There's too much of a broad spectrum and I can't narrow it down. It has to be someone Kira found and knows he could trust to understand what Kira wants even without being in contact with him, someone who has gained attention on media somewhat and supports Kira. Someone who 'understands' Kira's philosophy in a different manner. Someone with a high state. 

Someone...

I looked over at a television screen displaying a broadcast. A man with jet black hair splayed over his shoulders and wearing glasses alongside a suit was giving some kind of announcement regarding Kira. All I could register were the words of support and some kind of mutual understanding. 'We must think like Kira, what he wants.' Words similar to that.

I was so astonished that I pushed my hands up onto the table in front of me and got onto my knees, sitting up straight to get a good look at exactly who this man was.

_X-Kira... Could it be this man?_

I know this man. He's a strong Kira supporter, so we kept records of him. Where is his file? I looked around quickly and glanced at the huge stack of papers on the table. ....Such a troublesome situation. But I couldn't allow my thoughts to slip away just yet. I just saw this man's face. I have to find his file before I forget. Curse my height for once.

No other choice. No one else was in the room with me. It's only for a few seconds. I can do this now.

I pushed one knee up to my chest, going into a launching stance. Bracing myself, I pushed my leg upwards and practically threw myself at the taller table with the files. As predicted, intense pain shot up my entire body and I fell backwards, but my hands managed to topple the files and they fell all over me. That's fine.

I merely sat up again and flipped through the files. Here he is. I found his picture. Teru Mikami. I looked into his past. Apparently, he is an extremely justice minded person and he was working as a prosecutor. However, while it may be possible he's X-Kira, I needed to be absolutely sure. How do I do that?

My question was answered a few days later when I watched the Kira broadcast and saw something new.

Kiyomi Takada. Kira's new spokesperson. I wonder...

I checked over Teru Mikami's history and saw that he interviewed Takada regarding Kira on one occasion. It was obvious that she understood and supported Kira. I don't like to believe in coincidences, and this? I'm sure that this couldn't be a possibility. Out of everyone Kira could've chosen as a spokesperson... It's almost as if he thinks like Kira.

If it was anyone Kira would rely on, it was him. There's no more doubt in my mind.

_Teru Mikami is X-Kira._

But how do I prove it? More importantly, how does Kiyomi Takada play into this? Kira and X-Kira are communicating through Takada, that's one assumption I had. What to do...

I did what I could. I had Gevanni look into Teru Mikami and spy over him. I asked Halle to do the same thing for Kiyomi. She managed to land a spot as one of Kiyomi's bodyguards. Even better. A few weeks later, Gevanni informed me that he witnessed Teru using the Death Note on a train. There's no more suspicion to it anymore. I know for certain now.

Progress really started to pick up pace after I was sure that Teru Mikami was the new Kira, X-Kira. The man in the Task Force that contacted me called again. He said that Light and Kiyomi were exchanging notes and information. That was useful information, but I told him that I'd rather him not risk too much and asked him to continue watching over Light Yagami. He agreed. 

Eventually, I learned from Halle that Kiyomi and Misa had dinner together and were discussing about Light Yagami. Hm... This was actually pretty good information to know about. It was unlikely they'd betray him if they were truly in love with him. Light Yagami did date Kiyomi Takada for a while back during his college days. This... This could serve as a major problem or game changer. I didn't mean to snap at The Commander, I just needed the room to be quiet so I could process this new information thoroughly.

It was December during all that excitement, and the next year came around. I figured it was time for some serious action. I detained Misa Amane as the second Kira. Obviously, I didn't kidnap her, I just kept strong surveillance over her to ensure she didn't leave our grasps. Then, I had to ask Gevanni to do tasks I knew were going to be nerve wracking for him. 

_But he did what I told him to do anyway._

He touched the Death Note in the gym locker when Teru was exercising. There was no shinigami, meaning that the probability of the Death Note Teru was carrying around being a fake rose significantly. I asked Gevanni to take pictures so I could compare and confirm some of the suspicions and theories I had in my mind.

It took around two weeks for me to compare all the deaths with the one that Gevanni took pictures and I got to make a fake copy of the Death Note, asking Gevanni to swap them out. Teru fills a whole page of names every day. One page, completely routine. That's why....

I asked Light Yagami and the rest of the task force to meet me in person, face to face, on a set date. January 28th.

The very next day, I learned from Halle that Kiyomi was kidnapped by Mello. That information surprised me, but I wasn't exactly shocked that Mello would do something like that. Then, I heard news from Gevanni that changed everything.

_That day, Mello died. Matt died. Kiyomi died._

"Near? Is something the matter?" The Commander asked. I didn't answer and contacted Gevanni. "How much time do you need to switch out the Death Note?" I asked. "Give me 12 hours. A day. I'll be done soon enough. You can trust me on that much." Thank you Gevanni.

January 28th, the day we meet face to face. It's finally here. For the purpose of the obvious explanation about to unfold if everything went according to plan, I made small figurines of a burglar that looked like a mascot I saw in a fast food restaurant meant to represent Kira and labeled him as such. I also made figurines of X-Kira, Teru Mikami, myself and Mello. I didn't like Teru's figurine and put little thought in making him, but I liked me and Mello. I looked funny with poppy eyes and silly hair. It was supposed to look messy, but it looked more as though someone poured white spaghetti all over me. I never found Mello intimidating, short tempered yes, not scary, however, I was sure for a finale, he would've enjoyed looking a little more frightening and...'badass'. I don't think I accomplished the look though... But I still liked the figurines. In fact, I liked it so much, I made duplicates of me and Mello, but just as finger puppets.

Ever since the death of L, the old man and the boy with black hair never came to the orphanage. I'm not sure if he was L, but it was my closest assumption. So, I made a mask for myself that looked like the man with black hair. The mask looks terrible, but I liked it. It was hand made, and I liked the squiggly hair and wide eyes.

Mine and Mello's figurines, as well as the mask.

_They looked funny..._

Maybe Mello is right. I don't smile often enough.

I picked out an empty and abandoned warehouse. Thankfully, it wasn't humid there, so I didn't need to worry about sweating. There, all the evidence was laid out, everything played out exceptionally well. Teru came in, every one of our names were written down except for Light Yagami, I revealed the events that played out, and showed the real Death Note. I was already staring at the shinigami. He's a lot more peculiar than what I had imagined, not that I'm complaining about something like that. I gave Mello his share of spotlight too. He helped me out the most in this case after all. I'm sure he would've scolded me if I didn't provide some dramatic action in the 'big reveal'.

It didn't surprise me when Light admitted the truth, and the reactions of the police officers didn't faze me either. Even the shots didn't. Although, I was a little upset that Teru stabbed himself... And I couldn't help but jolt when Light tried to write my name in his watch. I can't believe he had a watch like that with him. What surprised me the most was the fact that the Task Force members were insistent on catching Light when he escaped the warehouse. The man who contacted me... Aizawa? He said they wouldn't be taking orders from me. Ah... What a shame, I thought we could continue working together. Oh well.

With that, the Kira case concluded. I burned both the real and fake Death Note to ashes and buried them deep into the ground. I decided not to reveal Kira's true identity and simply labeled Light Yagami as another victim of Kira's killing. As promised, the Task Force didn't contact me anymore and acted as though the whole thing blew over. Kira's reign was over and the public slowly and gradually forgot him and things went back to normal. Crimes started up again and policemen had plenty on their hands again. Me? I wasn't sure what to do...

I decided to start with rebuilding L's name and  _be_ L, just like what I was meant to do. I kept the question: "What would L do?" in my mind whenever a new case was brought up to me.

The SPK was only established for the purpose of catching Kira. Now that he's gone, I couldn't find a purpose for the SPK to exist anymore, so I changed the base to serve the purpose to conduct cases as the new L. L's base as one could call it. It wasn't permanent, but I preferred to stay there as long as I could. I only just started, so I haven't gotten any major cases that needed me to move to another country. But the public believed that L was still alive and working, so I knew the cases would pile up soon enough.

I told Gevanni, Halle and The Commander that they could leave now. I could find someone else to run the base with me...

_They didn't leave._

I was happy. I was required to move around a lot more frequently than during the Kira case and every time I did so, I would try to wear the hand made mask I had of the black haired man, unless it was a public place. If that was the case, I'd simply wear sunglasses and a surgical mask. Gevanni would yell and lecture me at times about why I didn't just reveal my face, since no one knew who I was anyway. I didn't answer him, but I did tell him that I preferred that no one knew my identity, just like the original L did.

The old members of the SPK that stood by me got used to my inability to stand and walk. Halle would frequently ask if I needed anything and renovated one of the rooms in the base so everything I needed was nearby. Files kept in a low shelf that I could reach, multiple boxes to keep my toys in, a nearby bathroom with stools for me to crawl on to reach the height to the toilet, sink or bathtub. Apart from those things, the entire room was empty for me to create big and complex structures with my toys without it getting in anyone's way. They even gave me a remote that was wired to the door so I could lock it and tell everyone that I didn't wish to be disturbed. If I had it locked, they'd simply slide files under the door or speak from the other side of the door.

Gevanni would carry me almost everywhere, just like my caretakers did. Except, he didn't complain once. There'd be times where he'd ask if it was truly necessary that I carry my toys around in my arms with me since they would sometimes get in the way of him carrying me, but he never once complained about carrying me around, even if it was only to the next room. No matter how close by or far away, Gevanni would carry me there. Halle told me once that he was working out because I was getting heavier. There would be a day when I'd become too heavy for anyone to carry. Gevanni wanted to prolong the day that would happen, or at least, that's what Halle told me.

The Commander told me his real name, Anthony Carter. I was so used to acknowledging him as 'Commander', I accidentally called him as such. He didn't mind me continuing to call him The Commander if I had so desired. I didn't know what to do, so I called him Anthony instead so I wouldn't get confused with the last name of his real name and alias. He would always investigate and do computer research whenever I asked him to with a smile on his face. He did all the work that I wasn't able to do, such as spying on someone or gathering personal information on them. I knew how to hack and handle the computer, but he insisted that I should utilize my time to think and not move around too much in my room. He claimed that he had everything under control, so I didn't complain anymore.

In a way, all three of them reminded me of parts of the old man...

_I still think about him._

Three years later and they were still with me. Something happened. Anthony said that it was a 'new Kira' and I became ever so slightly concerned. However, when I saw who their targets were, I knew straightaway they were a fake and a total fraud. They didn't even seem to have the same intentions as Kira did. I thought it would be a little more entertaining... But...

All the people they killed were elderly people. If I didn't know any better, it was probably in some sick mentality that they were ending their suffering. All it did was make me feel sick, because I kept thinking about the old man every time that Kira was bought up.

"Near, aren't you going to handle this case?" Gevanni asked me one day while I was flying a super hero figurine over Anthony's head. "I'm just trying to figure out what L would've done..." I had replied. Truth was, I already realized that this prevailing Kira was simply a Kira without a purpose, using the Death Note wastefully. I labeled them as 'C-Kira', short for 'Cheap Kira'. I didn't bother thinking about 'solving' the case. All I knew for certain was that this Kira was simply an abominable murderer. I announced that to the public, confirming that I had no interest in this Kira. 

_A few days later, the killings stopped completely, abruptly, as though C-Kira died._

I didn't really care, it just meant that I wouldn't be bothered about that case anymore.

I've decided that I will continue to be L. I didn't mind, however, sometimes... I miss them.

The old man, that black haired man, Mello, even Matt, and I didn't even know him that well. I miss them a lot, but I knew they weren't coming back, so... I guess I'll deal with it, just like how I have to deal with the inability to walk.

Gevanni asked me why I didn't go for surgery, didn't have a wheelchair, didn't try anything that would help me in some way regarding my legs. I didn't answer, I just didn't want to.

_I didn't like any of those ideas._

Once in a while, I'd remember my real name, the one I saw in the Death Note. 

_Nate River..._

Sometimes, I wondered if that was really my name and 'River', the names of my real family. Sometimes I wondered if they were the ones who made me the way I am. Unable to walk. Sometimes, I wondered if I would recognize them if I ever saw them again. I honestly didn't think I would. Whoever they are, they aren't my family. 

The old man is my family, maybe a father... Mello too, he's already the older and irritating brother. Matt... I don't know him very well, if not at all. He was always with Mello though, and always had his nose in video game consoles. Maybe he'd be another brother. What about the former members of the SPK? They're important to me too. But...

I kind of wished I knew who that black haired man was. It was rude to assume when said person is already dead. But, I couldn't help it. Sometimes, I'd call the orphanage to check up on it. I earned plenty of money as the new L, so any financial problems they might have were quickly resolved. The man would tell me over the phone that the children who were a bit older now greatly missed L, and he didn't know what to do with the new children that came into the orphanage.

_He asked me when I would pick out a successor._

Right.... I told him I would get back to him soon regarding that topic.

Despite everything, once in a while, I'd forget the world only sees me as L, not Near anymore. I've completely replaced L. So I need to start actually progressing as L and do things that would repair up L's reputation again.

I looked over at my deck of cards.

It's been a few years now. I'm a lot taller and my hair's grown out. I should really consider cutting it. My whole room was surrounded by nothing but endless mountains of stacked pyramids of cards and delicate structures. A file slipped under my door and I stared at it, crawling over and opening it.

"New case. Pay is $60,000,000 if we get it done. Mass murder case over in locations in Europe. Details and pictures in the file. Tell us if you want to know more or want to take on the case."

I checked the other side and saw a piece of paper taped to the underside of the file envelope.

"P.S. Keep track of your eating and hygiene habits."

Of course...

I hummed and checked the time. It's almost 4 p.m. I crawled over to my laptop, switching it on and going straight to a video call, putting on my mask.

_"Look! It's L!" "L!! You're wearing that mask again?!" "Show us your face today!!" "No way! He's not gonna do that! You know that!" "L, tell us a story! Hurry hurry!!" "Story time!!"_

I started contacting the orphanage children like L did. Everything was the same in the sense I was speaking to them through a screen and using a voice changer. However, I always wore my hand made mask in front of them. I lied frequently, coming up with stories that were half lies and half truths from whatever I knew about L mixed in with cases that I was handling. The children would also frequently ask about my life and personality, thoughts on certain topics. I'd ask myself how L would respond and act accordingly. It was always convincing enough.

When I was finally done, I called Anthony over the phone and told him to start gathering as much information as he could as I flipped through the file about the case. Might as well, there's also the kidnapping incident. I already figured out where they kept the hostage... I could send the location to the police anytime and watch everything else unfold. Oh, there's also a new robotic action figure... I'll check that out later, I hope it doesn't have irritating beeping noises and flashing lights like the others do.

I picked up my phone and sighed. Right... To work again.

"This is L. I've located your daughter. 52nd street off coast, 5 guards there with guns. Proceed with caution and feel free to open fire. There is only a 2% chance that they will listen to you and comply peacefully. I will monitor your progress through satellite connection, but I will no longer be responsible for any further incidents."

I hung up. Okay, what's next...

This is my path now, to go along to the world as L.

_I am L. I am N. I am Near. I am Nate River._

**Author's Note:**

> I like to imagine Near as a kid who doesn't show his emotions, but I believe he does still show his emotions sometimes as he's still a human being.
> 
> I know some people may say something like: "But Near stood up in the scene where he suspects Teru Mikami is X-Kira!" Okay first of all, we only see the top half of his body and the table and screen is blocking off the bottom half of his body. For all we know, he could be standing on his knees and sitting up straight.
> 
> Near was only 8 when the Kira case came about, so I feel like he should've been in the orphanage from a way younger age to be able to become so intelligent to be closest to L's successor. That's why I made it so Watari brought Near to The Wammy's House from birth.
> 
> Near never bothers asking Watari his real name and just calls him 'the old man' out of respect and because he wants to keep the image of the father figure in his mind. Obviously, he does eventually figure out Watari's real name, what with knowing he owns The Wammy's House.
> 
> Near isn't trying to be mean to Mello during the scene where he throws the ball at his face. It's his way of saying that he acknowledges Mello and is interested in him. He pretty much deciphers Mello's personality and chooses throwing the ball at him as the best way to get Mello to remember him.
> 
> L visits The Wammy's House after the tests to see the children first hand and how they react to him and how smart they actually are. That's why I made the scene where he visits Near in his room and just casually talks to him.
> 
> I don't feel like Near sees Mello as a rival or being higher than him since he doesn't object to cooperation. It means that Near cares more about catching Kira than competing against Mello.
> 
> Again, when Mello killed the SPK members, I feel like Near was genuinely mad at him and that's part of the reason he chose to cooperate with the Second L, apart from using the incident as a cover up, I feel like he genuinely wanted to get back at Mello because he realized that he thinks beating Near is more important than defeating Kira.
> 
> The scene where Near had to evacuate from the SPK base, I think it's possible for Near to be carried out of there amongst the crowd and Kira wouldn't be able to figure out who he is because there's just so many people and they're all wearing face shields.
> 
> I wrote in the Teru Mikami discovery scene that Near propped himself up on his knees to get a better look at the television screen and that would provide a convincing image of how Near could look like he was standing up straight even though we don't see the bottom half of his body.
> 
> I didn't write a scene of Near grieving after the death of Mello and Matt because I imagine Near having to put aside his emotions to focus on the case, that's why he retreats so fast from the deaths and just calls Gevanni like that.
> 
> You can't look at me and say Near bought the mask and figurines he uses in the warehouse scene from some random store. There's no possible way that a store would sell something like that. That's why I wrote that he made the mask and figurines by himself.
> 
> The Kira figurine Near uses in the warehouse scene reminds me of Hamburglar from McDonalds.
> 
> The SPK members did actually stick around with Near in the one year conclusion after the Kira case, and I'd like to think that Near thinks of them as his new family like Watari was.
> 
> C-Kira was featured in the one-shot chapter/epilogue of the Death Note manga.
> 
> I imagine everyone to just expect Near to replace L, which is why he does things like continue talking to the orphanage children and abandon his name as N, trying to completely change himself to L, but he knows that he can never be exactly like L, which is why he still states that he is Near, N, Nate River.


End file.
